Do you ever feel like someone is following you? I have that sensation all the time, and usually it is because I AM being followed. No, I am not paranoid (about that, anyway). As I walk around the house throughout the day, there are many times when I will have one or two little girls tracking me. And they are great little detectives. Their internal radar can hunt me down in three seconds flat, especially if I am enjoying a brief phone conversation or if I happen to be in the powder room. They really need to come up with some sort of mommy camouflage for those times when we need to escape, breath, and/or count to ten.
As my children follow me around and mentally record every word I say and action I take (for blackmail during their teen years), I rejoice as they imitate the good that they witness, and cringe when I make my many mistakes. I am going to shock some of you, so hold on to your hats. I am not perfect, nor have I ever claimed to be. I am a sinner just like everyone else, and I struggle with anger, bitterness, resentment, jealousy, and a whole host of other vices every day of my life. It is difficult to hide these problematic sins from my daughters as they watch everything I do and listen to everything I say. There are many times when I have to humbly ask their forgiveness for the way that I have acted. Hopefully, they will continue to be as quick to forgive as they are during this stage of their lives. But there are also moments when I actually do something right. And I jump for joy when Eden prays a passionate prayer over her sandwich and grapes or Caroline treats her sister with tenderness and compassion. Thank you, Lord, for helping me be like Christ.
Jesus had people following Him around as well. When He called His disciples, He said, "Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men" (Matthew 4:19). What was the disciples' response? "Immediately they left their nets and followed him" (Matthew 4:20). Immediately. Scripture doesn't say they took a few days to consider all their options. It doesn't say they went home and asked Mama what she thought was best, or that they tried to tie up all their loose ends before embarking on the greatest journey of their lives. They just dropped their nets and fell in line. Was it easy? Nope. Just because they were walking with the Author of Life does not mean that everything was coming up roses. But it was so worth it. Because of their obedience, they accomplished much for the kingdom of God.
We are not always going to do what is right. Sometimes we will fall flat on our faces. But Christ is there, inviting us to repent of our wicked ways, embrace His far-reaching forgiveness, and continue down the path with Him. Lord, please help me to hear Your call, leave the nets that hold my own selfish desires, and immediately follow You, no matter where You lead.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Countdown to the Castle
We waited. We planned. We counted down the days on our calendar. We discussed and decided the details. We pondered all the possibilities. We giggled and dreamed about all the fun we were going to have. And then the moment arrived.
The long-anticipated day came to fruition as we loaded up the family vehicle and began our trek to the magical world of Disney. Who cares that we spent nine hours crammed into a car with all our precious belongings plus two squirmy preschoolers? We were about to have the time of our lives, meeting Mickey and floating with Dumbo and watching fireworks every single night. We could not stand the excitement.
We skipped onto Disney property and began a whirlwind week of rides, food, and the occasional toddler tantrum. And as the moments flew by, our five days of family festivities were over in the blink of an eye. It seemed like we had just unpacked and settled in before it was time to shove our Disney loot into the car and head home. Sadly, we could not live at Disney World like good ole Walt originally dreamed we would.
While we were busy scurrying from one attraction to the other, the Lord tugged at my heart and gave me some food for thought. (He likes to give me deep thoughts to chew on when I find myself reveling in the wonders of the temporal.) As a follower of Christ, this world is not my home. I am only here for a brief moment in time to accomplish as much for God's kingdom as possible until He chooses to whisk me away to the place He has prepared for those who belong to Him. That place is heaven. Heaven is a thousand times better than Disney. Because although Disney has Cinderella's castle, shows where bubbles are constantly released above you, and those yummy frozen lemonade treats, it could never ever compare with all that is waiting for us in the perfection of heaven. We truly cannot even fathom it. No tears. No pain. No fears. No waiting in line in the oppressive heat while the children whine and touch every bacteria covered surface within reach. Seriously. Heaven. Ahhhhh.
So do I long for my heavenly home? Do I wait with joyous expectation for the Lord to say, "It's time. Let's go!" Do I become giddy and restless as I anticipate the incredible place He has promised for me? Not nearly as much as I should. I find myself getting bogged down in the things that I can see and touch, and I sometimes forget about the amazing place that awaits me. Lord, help me to embrace Your joy today, knowing that You love me and that once the strife and sin is over...heaven is my future. And absolutely nothing can compare to the beauty and perfection that it holds.
The long-anticipated day came to fruition as we loaded up the family vehicle and began our trek to the magical world of Disney. Who cares that we spent nine hours crammed into a car with all our precious belongings plus two squirmy preschoolers? We were about to have the time of our lives, meeting Mickey and floating with Dumbo and watching fireworks every single night. We could not stand the excitement.
We skipped onto Disney property and began a whirlwind week of rides, food, and the occasional toddler tantrum. And as the moments flew by, our five days of family festivities were over in the blink of an eye. It seemed like we had just unpacked and settled in before it was time to shove our Disney loot into the car and head home. Sadly, we could not live at Disney World like good ole Walt originally dreamed we would.
While we were busy scurrying from one attraction to the other, the Lord tugged at my heart and gave me some food for thought. (He likes to give me deep thoughts to chew on when I find myself reveling in the wonders of the temporal.) As a follower of Christ, this world is not my home. I am only here for a brief moment in time to accomplish as much for God's kingdom as possible until He chooses to whisk me away to the place He has prepared for those who belong to Him. That place is heaven. Heaven is a thousand times better than Disney. Because although Disney has Cinderella's castle, shows where bubbles are constantly released above you, and those yummy frozen lemonade treats, it could never ever compare with all that is waiting for us in the perfection of heaven. We truly cannot even fathom it. No tears. No pain. No fears. No waiting in line in the oppressive heat while the children whine and touch every bacteria covered surface within reach. Seriously. Heaven. Ahhhhh.
So do I long for my heavenly home? Do I wait with joyous expectation for the Lord to say, "It's time. Let's go!" Do I become giddy and restless as I anticipate the incredible place He has promised for me? Not nearly as much as I should. I find myself getting bogged down in the things that I can see and touch, and I sometimes forget about the amazing place that awaits me. Lord, help me to embrace Your joy today, knowing that You love me and that once the strife and sin is over...heaven is my future. And absolutely nothing can compare to the beauty and perfection that it holds.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Murder and the Mystery
My husband and I are complete opposites. He is easy-going and laid back. I am tightly-wound and high-maintenance. He enjoys being spontaneous every now and then. I have a panic attack if the schedule changes without 24 hours notice. He is perfectly happy just hanging out for hours in his pajamas on Saturday mornings. I am awake and showered by 6:30am every single morning without fail. He delights in science fiction. I really could not care less about Star Trek. Make me laugh or make me cry, but please do not make me scared, grossed out, or confused when I pay good money to see your movie.
Because we have different personalities and temperaments, there are times in our marriage where conflict arises. The loving banter that flows through our everyday conversations suddenly takes an ugly turn and selfishness and anger abound. Let's just be honest - there are moments when I want to choke that sweet, precious man of mine. (And I'm sure I drive him to the brink of insanity on a regular basis.) When I am filled with rage, no matter if it is truly his fault or if it is the result of my own indiscretion, it is sometimes difficult to move past the rage and embrace forgiveness.
Jesus taught about the consequences of our anger. In Matthew 5:21-22 He says, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire." Clinging to a spirit of wrath and bitterness towards my husband is a great offense to the holy God. As a follower of Christ, I am called to honor God in all of my relationships. When I choose to let anger accumulate in my marriage, it affects not only my husband, but it also affects my daily walk with my Heavenly Father.
So how should I view the relationship I share with my husband? One of the most well-known passages regarding the interactions between a husband and wife can be found in the fifth chapter of the book of Ephesians. Paul makes it clear that wives are supposed to submit to their own husbands, "as to the Lord" (Eph. 5:22). And husbands are called to love their wives "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Eph. 5:25). Paul goes on to say that "this mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Eph. 5:32-33). The marital bond was designed by our Creator to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church. Therefore, husbands must love their wives in a sacrificial way, and wives must respect and honor their husbands. In doing this, we radiate the truth of the gospel message to a lost and dying world.
Because we have different personalities and temperaments, there are times in our marriage where conflict arises. The loving banter that flows through our everyday conversations suddenly takes an ugly turn and selfishness and anger abound. Let's just be honest - there are moments when I want to choke that sweet, precious man of mine. (And I'm sure I drive him to the brink of insanity on a regular basis.) When I am filled with rage, no matter if it is truly his fault or if it is the result of my own indiscretion, it is sometimes difficult to move past the rage and embrace forgiveness.
Jesus taught about the consequences of our anger. In Matthew 5:21-22 He says, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire." Clinging to a spirit of wrath and bitterness towards my husband is a great offense to the holy God. As a follower of Christ, I am called to honor God in all of my relationships. When I choose to let anger accumulate in my marriage, it affects not only my husband, but it also affects my daily walk with my Heavenly Father.
So how should I view the relationship I share with my husband? One of the most well-known passages regarding the interactions between a husband and wife can be found in the fifth chapter of the book of Ephesians. Paul makes it clear that wives are supposed to submit to their own husbands, "as to the Lord" (Eph. 5:22). And husbands are called to love their wives "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Eph. 5:25). Paul goes on to say that "this mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Eph. 5:32-33). The marital bond was designed by our Creator to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church. Therefore, husbands must love their wives in a sacrificial way, and wives must respect and honor their husbands. In doing this, we radiate the truth of the gospel message to a lost and dying world.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Bookworm
I love books. I am an avid reader, even though the circumstances of life sometimes prevent me from indulging in this pastime. I can remember reading the entire Babysitter's Club series and I loved Nancy Drew novels with a passion. I cannot wait until my daughters reach the age where they can enjoy those books as well. They already have a substantial book collection, which they love to peruse on a daily basis.
For the past couple of weeks, my book of choice has been a biography about the life of Amy Carmichael entitled A Chance to Die, which was written by Elisabeth Elliot. Amy (love her name, by the way) was a missionary who settled among the people of India and rescued little girls and boys from those who would have taken advantage of them. Amy had no children of her own, and did not consider herself the mothering type. Yet the Lord blessed her with a family of girls and boys, young ladies, and older women to care for and lead. She was a remarkable woman of God.
A few days ago, I read a passage from this volume that tugged at my heartstrings. It says that Amy and the ladies that aided her in taking care of their ever-growing household were learning that if Jesus Himself was willing to wash the dirty, street-worn feet of the disciples, "then no work, even the relentless and often messy routine of caring for squalling babies, is demeaning" (Elliot, 182). She goes on to say that "it is not the business of the servant to decide which work is great, which is small, which is important or unimportant - he is not greater than his master" (Elliot, 183).
It can be very frustrating to walk the road as a stay-at-home mommy. There are times when I think, "If I have to pick up one more Cheerio, or change one more yucky diaper, or break up one more argument over a 25 cent toy from McDonald's, I think I might scream." Sometimes I welcome a phone call so I can go sit on the bathroom floor and talk to an adult for five minutes while my children sit outside the door trying to figure out how to break in.
It can also be extremely rewarding to be a stay-at-home mommy. Cuddling in Eden's princess tent as we read a book, caring for bumps and boo-boos, hearing Eden and Caroline giggle as they play together, and being able to share spiritual truths as we encounter the basic elements of our day are some of my favorite moments.
Jesus was more than willing to serve in many capacities in order to show His love to those around Him. Am I greater than my Master? Absolutely, positively not. So I should follow His humble example and view every moment as an opportunity to bring glory to Him, whether I am singing His praises in front of hundreds of people or changing the fifth dirty diaper of the day. May He receive honor, no matter what the task.
As Amy Carmichael wrote - "Teach us, good Lord, to serve Thee as Thou deservest; to give and not to count the cost; to fight and not to heed the wounds; to toil and not to seek for rest; to labor and not to ask for any reward save that of knowing that we do Thy will, O Lord our God" (Elliot, 242).
For the past couple of weeks, my book of choice has been a biography about the life of Amy Carmichael entitled A Chance to Die, which was written by Elisabeth Elliot. Amy (love her name, by the way) was a missionary who settled among the people of India and rescued little girls and boys from those who would have taken advantage of them. Amy had no children of her own, and did not consider herself the mothering type. Yet the Lord blessed her with a family of girls and boys, young ladies, and older women to care for and lead. She was a remarkable woman of God.
A few days ago, I read a passage from this volume that tugged at my heartstrings. It says that Amy and the ladies that aided her in taking care of their ever-growing household were learning that if Jesus Himself was willing to wash the dirty, street-worn feet of the disciples, "then no work, even the relentless and often messy routine of caring for squalling babies, is demeaning" (Elliot, 182). She goes on to say that "it is not the business of the servant to decide which work is great, which is small, which is important or unimportant - he is not greater than his master" (Elliot, 183).
It can be very frustrating to walk the road as a stay-at-home mommy. There are times when I think, "If I have to pick up one more Cheerio, or change one more yucky diaper, or break up one more argument over a 25 cent toy from McDonald's, I think I might scream." Sometimes I welcome a phone call so I can go sit on the bathroom floor and talk to an adult for five minutes while my children sit outside the door trying to figure out how to break in.
It can also be extremely rewarding to be a stay-at-home mommy. Cuddling in Eden's princess tent as we read a book, caring for bumps and boo-boos, hearing Eden and Caroline giggle as they play together, and being able to share spiritual truths as we encounter the basic elements of our day are some of my favorite moments.
Jesus was more than willing to serve in many capacities in order to show His love to those around Him. Am I greater than my Master? Absolutely, positively not. So I should follow His humble example and view every moment as an opportunity to bring glory to Him, whether I am singing His praises in front of hundreds of people or changing the fifth dirty diaper of the day. May He receive honor, no matter what the task.
As Amy Carmichael wrote - "Teach us, good Lord, to serve Thee as Thou deservest; to give and not to count the cost; to fight and not to heed the wounds; to toil and not to seek for rest; to labor and not to ask for any reward save that of knowing that we do Thy will, O Lord our God" (Elliot, 242).
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Monkey See, Monkey Do
I affectionately call Eden "The Guinea Pig" and Caroline "The Copycat." As my firstborn, Eden was a bundle of novelty and wonder, which left me with a constant stream of questions and doubts about my effectiveness as a new mommy. The beginnings of her delicate life were filled with trial-and-error attempts at doing whatever I could to help her grow into the best child possible without losing my mind in the process.
Caroline was and continues to be an entirely different story.
Things are a little less stressful the second time around. Therefore, Caroline's first two years have been somewhat divergent from those of her sister. I remember most of the important lessons that I learned from Eden's infant-to-toddler progression, and this has provided much comfort that I'm not too far off base in mothering little Caroline. However, Eden did not have a big sister to follow around as she embarked on those first two years of life. Caroline, on the other hand, has the benefit of shadowing someone older and seemingly wiser than herself.
It is entertaining to watch Caroline as she interacts with her doting sibling. One of the most adorable (and sometimes the most alarming) things that I have observed in my second-born is her desire to mimic everything Eden does. During this current phase of her life, Caroline wants nothing more than to be exactly like Eden. She watches Eden intently to see how she plays with her baby dolls, how she eats her chicken nuggets, how she flips the pages as she "reads" her books, and how she flings herself off the side of the stage in the sanctuary as soon as church services are over. (I know. Scary.)
As I witness this persistent yearning in my child to be just like her sister, Ephesians 5:1 comes to mind. It says, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children." All of us, at some point, have longed to be like someone else, whether it was a sibling, a friend, or maybe a mentor. But no matter how wonderful earthly examples can be, there is none that compares to the model provided in Christ Himself. As a child of the Most High God, I am called to pattern my life after the One who gave His life for me. Although I cannot achieve earthly perfection as He most certainly did, I must strive to live as Jesus lived and study His ways daily so that I can be molded into His likeness. Lord, please transform me by the renewing of my mind as I offer my body as a living sacrifice for You alone.
Caroline was and continues to be an entirely different story.
Things are a little less stressful the second time around. Therefore, Caroline's first two years have been somewhat divergent from those of her sister. I remember most of the important lessons that I learned from Eden's infant-to-toddler progression, and this has provided much comfort that I'm not too far off base in mothering little Caroline. However, Eden did not have a big sister to follow around as she embarked on those first two years of life. Caroline, on the other hand, has the benefit of shadowing someone older and seemingly wiser than herself.
It is entertaining to watch Caroline as she interacts with her doting sibling. One of the most adorable (and sometimes the most alarming) things that I have observed in my second-born is her desire to mimic everything Eden does. During this current phase of her life, Caroline wants nothing more than to be exactly like Eden. She watches Eden intently to see how she plays with her baby dolls, how she eats her chicken nuggets, how she flips the pages as she "reads" her books, and how she flings herself off the side of the stage in the sanctuary as soon as church services are over. (I know. Scary.)
As I witness this persistent yearning in my child to be just like her sister, Ephesians 5:1 comes to mind. It says, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children." All of us, at some point, have longed to be like someone else, whether it was a sibling, a friend, or maybe a mentor. But no matter how wonderful earthly examples can be, there is none that compares to the model provided in Christ Himself. As a child of the Most High God, I am called to pattern my life after the One who gave His life for me. Although I cannot achieve earthly perfection as He most certainly did, I must strive to live as Jesus lived and study His ways daily so that I can be molded into His likeness. Lord, please transform me by the renewing of my mind as I offer my body as a living sacrifice for You alone.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The Right Response
I find it quite humorous that Caroline's knee-jerk response to almost every question I ask is "No." Do you want to go to bed, Caroline? No. Are you ready to go for a ride, Caroline? No. Are you having fun, Caroline? No. Do you want some chocolate, Caroline? Uh huh. Notice I said ALMOST every question produces a "No." She does have limits. And when it comes to chocolate, the answer is always yes.
I realize that this is a byproduct of her age because her older sister used to do the exact same thing. When Eden was a wee little toddler and she would uncharacteristically become quiet somewhere in the house, I would yell, "EDEN..." And she would call back, "NO!" At least I knew she was still breathing.
Even though I can sometimes chuckle at her misplaced negative responses, there are other times when it's not so cute. There are circumstances when she says no and she most definitely means it. In those moments, I usually have to exert my authority as her mother and firmly hold my ground in light of her rebellion. This produces pain and disappointment for both of us. However, I love my daughter and I want to protect her and help her choose the right path.
As a child of the Almighty God, I must willingly obey His voice. When I am faced with the option to either say "yes" or "no" to His plans, I need to humbly submit to His leading and know that His way is best. Following Christ does not mean that I will always be comfortable or that I will always receive everything I think I want. But being faithful to Him will produce spiritual fruit in my life that will cause me to radiate with His presence and bring glory and honor to Him. Please help me to follow You with every ounce of energy that I have today, Lord. Your will always exceeds my greatest expectations.
I realize that this is a byproduct of her age because her older sister used to do the exact same thing. When Eden was a wee little toddler and she would uncharacteristically become quiet somewhere in the house, I would yell, "EDEN..." And she would call back, "NO!" At least I knew she was still breathing.
Even though I can sometimes chuckle at her misplaced negative responses, there are other times when it's not so cute. There are circumstances when she says no and she most definitely means it. In those moments, I usually have to exert my authority as her mother and firmly hold my ground in light of her rebellion. This produces pain and disappointment for both of us. However, I love my daughter and I want to protect her and help her choose the right path.
As a child of the Almighty God, I must willingly obey His voice. When I am faced with the option to either say "yes" or "no" to His plans, I need to humbly submit to His leading and know that His way is best. Following Christ does not mean that I will always be comfortable or that I will always receive everything I think I want. But being faithful to Him will produce spiritual fruit in my life that will cause me to radiate with His presence and bring glory and honor to Him. Please help me to follow You with every ounce of energy that I have today, Lord. Your will always exceeds my greatest expectations.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Failures and Forgiveness
I am not an easy-going type person. I'm sure those of you that know me well just snorted Dr. Pepper out of your nose because that was the understatement of the year. I have never been described as "laid back"...at least not to my face. A better portrayal of my personality might be "high strung" or "type A." So when I encounter situations that bring stress and frustration (such as getting myself plus two preschoolers out the door in 5 minutes when I have about 15 minutes worth of things to do), I tend to morph into my own version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. This is not a pretty picture.
This morning was one of THOSE mornings. We have had a very busy week. My daughters are tired. I am tired. They do not have telepathic capabilities, so they are not able to instantly discern where mommy wants them to be and what she wants them to be doing. As a matter of fact, on this particular morning, they could have cared less. All they wanted to do was stay in their pajamas and watch a little bit more of Jungle Junction, thank you. But we had an appointment and I almost lost my mind trying to get Eden and Caroline dressed and our bag packed and ready to go. As we were making our exit to the family vehicle, I felt great remorse over my bad attitude. I stopped and told my daughters that I was sorry for being so mean. Eden turned and smiled at me and said, "It's okay, mommy. I forgive you." Then she ran over to me and hugged my leg as tightly as she could. Caroline had no idea what was going on, but she ran over and flung her arms around my other leg as well.
This was one of those mommy moments that spoke volumes to me about the love and forgiveness of my Heavenly Father. I make mistakes. I really know how to take a wonderful day and turn it into a complete mess. And my sinfulness separates me from God. But as soon as I acknowledge my sin and seek the Lord's forgiveness, He immediately draws me back to Himself. I do not have to jump through any hoops or work my way up any ladders. He loves me and forgives me, regardless of what I have done. He sees straight to my heart and knows how sorry I truly am. I am so thankful that I can never fall out of His grace. Lord, help me to forgive as I have been forgiven and show others the love that You have lavished on me.
This morning was one of THOSE mornings. We have had a very busy week. My daughters are tired. I am tired. They do not have telepathic capabilities, so they are not able to instantly discern where mommy wants them to be and what she wants them to be doing. As a matter of fact, on this particular morning, they could have cared less. All they wanted to do was stay in their pajamas and watch a little bit more of Jungle Junction, thank you. But we had an appointment and I almost lost my mind trying to get Eden and Caroline dressed and our bag packed and ready to go. As we were making our exit to the family vehicle, I felt great remorse over my bad attitude. I stopped and told my daughters that I was sorry for being so mean. Eden turned and smiled at me and said, "It's okay, mommy. I forgive you." Then she ran over to me and hugged my leg as tightly as she could. Caroline had no idea what was going on, but she ran over and flung her arms around my other leg as well.
This was one of those mommy moments that spoke volumes to me about the love and forgiveness of my Heavenly Father. I make mistakes. I really know how to take a wonderful day and turn it into a complete mess. And my sinfulness separates me from God. But as soon as I acknowledge my sin and seek the Lord's forgiveness, He immediately draws me back to Himself. I do not have to jump through any hoops or work my way up any ladders. He loves me and forgives me, regardless of what I have done. He sees straight to my heart and knows how sorry I truly am. I am so thankful that I can never fall out of His grace. Lord, help me to forgive as I have been forgiven and show others the love that You have lavished on me.
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