Murder and the Mystery

My husband and I are complete opposites.  He is easy-going and laid back.  I am tightly-wound and high-maintenance.  He enjoys being spontaneous every now and then.  I have a panic attack if the schedule changes without 24 hours notice.  He is perfectly happy just hanging out for hours in his pajamas on Saturday mornings.  I am awake and showered by 6:30am every single morning without fail.  He delights in science fiction.  I really could not care less about Star Trek.  Make me laugh or make me cry, but please do not make me scared, grossed out, or confused when I pay good money to see your movie.

Because we have different personalities and temperaments, there are times in our marriage where conflict arises.  The loving banter that flows through our everyday conversations suddenly takes an ugly turn and selfishness and anger abound.  Let's just be honest - there are moments when I want to choke that sweet, precious man of mine.  (And I'm sure I drive him to the brink of insanity on a regular basis.)  When I am filled with rage, no matter if it is truly his fault or if it is the result of my own indiscretion, it is sometimes difficult to move past the rage and embrace forgiveness.

Jesus taught about the consequences of our anger.  In Matthew 5:21-22 He says, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire."  Clinging to a spirit of wrath and bitterness towards my husband is a great offense to the holy God.  As a follower of Christ, I am called to honor God in all of my relationships.  When I choose to let anger accumulate in my marriage, it affects not only my husband, but it also affects my daily walk with my Heavenly Father.

So how should I view the relationship I share with my husband? One of the most well-known passages regarding the interactions between a husband and wife can be found in the fifth chapter of the book of Ephesians.  Paul makes it clear that wives are supposed to submit to their own husbands, "as to the Lord" (Eph. 5:22).  And husbands are called to love their wives "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Eph. 5:25).   Paul goes on to say that "this mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.  However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Eph. 5:32-33).  The marital bond was designed by our Creator to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church.  Therefore, husbands must love their wives in a sacrificial way, and wives must respect and honor their husbands.  In doing this, we radiate the truth of the gospel message to a lost and dying world.