Man on a Hot Tin Roof

I am not a sports fanatic in any way, shape, or form. Athletics have never been my strong suit, although I have a very competitive streak when provoked. But I can recall attending my first and only hockey game with a friend while I was in college. It strikes me as humorous now, seeing as neither one of us had a particular affinity for hockey. I'm not even sure why we went. All I remember is the pure aggression that the players exhibited on the ice. They would glide along, working together with their teammates, when suddenly a fight would break lose. People yelled. Punches were thrown. Heart rates increased. Blood boiled. And then it was over. Someone was sent to the penalty box and the game continued. Until the next brawl.

Sometimes marriage can be just like that hockey rink...minus the ice and the face masks. There are days when we glide along, working together in perfect sync. And then a bad day hits. And then another. And if you are anything like me, my mouth moves faster than my brain. Before I know it, words have escaped my lips, and I desperately wish I could take them back.

I have been reading  in the book of Proverbs in my quiet time, and I came across these verses...

"It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife." Proverbs 21:9

"It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman." Proverbs 21:19

"A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand." Proverbs 27:15-16

Do you sense a theme here? Quarrelsome wife = NOT GOOD. Scripture says that our husbands would be better off hanging out on the roof than sharing perfectly good space in the house with their contentious, argumentative wives. The desert seems like paradise compared to spending the day enduring our verbal attack. Trying to restrain our belligerence is like trying to bridle the wind. 

So how ARE we supposed to act?

First of all, disagreements will naturally occur in a marriage because the marital bond is shared by two sinners who sometimes have vastly divergent opinions. The word "quarrelsome" indicates that our attitude has somehow slipped out of line. Remember to respond to your husband with gentleness and kindness, even if you have a ironclad case against him. Proverbs 15:1 says, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." You are responsible for your own actions. Watch your tone.

Secondly, when you do sense that you have taken a simple disagreement and turned it into a verbal boxing match, be quick to seek forgiveness. Apologize. Forgive as you have been forgiven in Christ. How much has He forgiven you? To the uttermost.

My prayer for you (and ME!) is that you would be trustworthy, that your husband would have no lack of gain, and that you would do him good and not harm, all the days of your life. (Proverbs 31:11-12)